the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Use "feeling words"
Yay
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Randomize
