Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I smell like Dick and happiness
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize