the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
