Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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