Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
