she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
