did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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