Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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