like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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