What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
