but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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