you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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