He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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