So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
