piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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