I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize