Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
