her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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