Christians are straight up FREAKS
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
