If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize