Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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