i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
