You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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