he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize