So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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