I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
