Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
