I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
