the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize