I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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