she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
