pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
