we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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