Joe is yelling at the trees again.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
