Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize