Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
