I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
