So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
