So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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