..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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