So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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