Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
