my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
