I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
