Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
