i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
