is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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