i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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