Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
