Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
