i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
