pedialite and red bull = repair kit
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
