Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
