Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
