Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
nutella sex= disaster
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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