Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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