You're completely useless in the revolution.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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