dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
