They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
