dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I don't think brook has ever known best
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
